Riding a Segway

You cannot look tough riding a segway. The funniest part is that police officers are starting to ride them, but it's impossible to take them seriously riding those goofy looking things. I have actually just laughed in cops faces at UMBC who are riding them. I mean, look at these people, they look like the nerdiest people alive, which is opposite of looking tough.

Riding a Dolphin

A big thanks goes to Johnny Knoxville who pointed this out in an epidose of Wildboyz. Steve-O was riding a dolphin and Knoxville brought up how you could not look cool doing it. Well, you can't look cool riding a dolphin, and you certainly can't look tough. You either end up smiling like a goon or you grimace in fear. This fellow seems to have a combination of both, which is the best way to look very untough.

Eating an Ice Cream Cone

Me and a few friends tried this one out, and unanimously agreed it was impossible to look tough while eating an ice cream cone. Like the lollipop, the licking and sucking are just weird looking. Not to mention you're almost forced to hold the cone strangely with only a few fingers or with your hand in a disfigured manner. Holding something in your whole hand, making a fist, is the toughest way to do it.

Putting on Chapstick

Even the most jacked meatheads in the world look like idiots doing this: putting on chapstick. I tried to look as tough as humanly possible while I applied my evening chapstick glossing, however, as obvious by the picture, I look like a fool, and a tool. Looking tough while putting on chapstick... can't be done brotha.

Carrying a Basket of Kittens

We can all agree, kittens are cute (THERE, I SAID IT!). But unfortunately this makes the act carrying a basket of them one of the least tough things someone can do. Hell, Mike Tyson carrying a basket of kittens would just look absurd. I actually think the kid below licking the swirly lollipop would challenge Tyson to a fight in that situation.

Licking a Swirly Candy Store Lollipop

The first ever "thing you can't look tough doing" is licking a swirly candy store lollipop. Maybe it's the fact you are licking it, or maybe it's the fact that its rainbow colored. Regardless, I challenge anyone to look tough or intimidating at all while licking one of these ridiculous creations.