Watching Grey's Anatomy

You cannot look tough watching Grey's Anatomy -- let alone any hospital drama. Even if you are a bad-ass handicapped cop, like Joe Swanson from family guy, it is impossible. Listen to this clip and you'll understand that Peter Griffin and I agree that Grey's Anatomy is pretty weak.

That sounds awful sound bite  Family Guy sound bites

Owning a Pomeranian

Despite the hilariousness of this dog, it is simply too furry, cuddly, and cute for someone to own it and look tough. If you ever see a man walking one of these guys, you'll see what I mean. Owning a pomeranian = not tough.

Singing Any Backstreet Boys Song

Does this really need to be explained? The Backstreet Boys represent everything that is not cool, unenviable, and certainly not tough. Trying to recreate this with a Backstreet Boys' cover is the root of all that is untough. Even if you are kidding around and singing karaoke at a bar, you still look like a idiot. You cannot look tough singing the Backstreet Boys in any incident. Both videos posted show clear incidents of untough guys singing Backstreet Boys. The latter one is especially untough when the guy dedicates the song to some girl.

Riding on a Carousel

Maybe it's the horses... perhaps it's the dainty music playing in the background... it could be that you have to hold onto a pole... whatever the reason may be, you cannot look tough riding on a carousel. Also, wearing a backpack on a carousel only contributes to the untoughness.

Playing the Recorder

We all did it in elementary or middle school. We played those plastic soprano recorders that sounded awful, especially when played incorrectly by 25 kids at once. You cannot look tough playing them, because memories of foolishness and children are brought into our minds. I dare anyone to try to look tough playing one.

Saying the Word "Yummy"

Thanks to Robert and Katie for this one. I don't care if you are Flex Wheeler drinking a protein shake, I don't care if you are Ronnie Coleman eating a porterhouse steak... you cannot look tough saying the word "yummy". For the very moment you say the word, you sound like a 6 year old kid enjoying his first ice cream cone. If you wanna look tough, refrain from using this word.

Riding a Segway

You cannot look tough riding a segway. The funniest part is that police officers are starting to ride them, but it's impossible to take them seriously riding those goofy looking things. I have actually just laughed in cops faces at UMBC who are riding them. I mean, look at these people, they look like the nerdiest people alive, which is opposite of looking tough.

Riding a Dolphin

A big thanks goes to Johnny Knoxville who pointed this out in an epidose of Wildboyz. Steve-O was riding a dolphin and Knoxville brought up how you could not look cool doing it. Well, you can't look cool riding a dolphin, and you certainly can't look tough. You either end up smiling like a goon or you grimace in fear. This fellow seems to have a combination of both, which is the best way to look very untough.

Eating an Ice Cream Cone

Me and a few friends tried this one out, and unanimously agreed it was impossible to look tough while eating an ice cream cone. Like the lollipop, the licking and sucking are just weird looking. Not to mention you're almost forced to hold the cone strangely with only a few fingers or with your hand in a disfigured manner. Holding something in your whole hand, making a fist, is the toughest way to do it.

Putting on Chapstick

Even the most jacked meatheads in the world look like idiots doing this: putting on chapstick. I tried to look as tough as humanly possible while I applied my evening chapstick glossing, however, as obvious by the picture, I look like a fool, and a tool. Looking tough while putting on chapstick... can't be done brotha.

Carrying a Basket of Kittens

We can all agree, kittens are cute (THERE, I SAID IT!). But unfortunately this makes the act carrying a basket of them one of the least tough things someone can do. Hell, Mike Tyson carrying a basket of kittens would just look absurd. I actually think the kid below licking the swirly lollipop would challenge Tyson to a fight in that situation.

Licking a Swirly Candy Store Lollipop

The first ever "thing you can't look tough doing" is licking a swirly candy store lollipop. Maybe it's the fact you are licking it, or maybe it's the fact that its rainbow colored. Regardless, I challenge anyone to look tough or intimidating at all while licking one of these ridiculous creations.